Sadism: Reflections on being a Teacher

“I only hurt you because I care.”   Every sadist, ever… also every teacher.

I have said before that teachers all engage in a special form of schadenfreude.  I love to make my students think, and push them beyond their comfort point to where they are questioning what they think they know, or think in entirely new and novel ways.  And I love doing it over, and over again.

This is part of the job of being a teacher.  You have to push people in order for them to grow.  The only question is how painful does the process really need to be.  This leads to the inevitable question: does being a teacher make me a sadist, or does being a sadist make me a better teacher?

While this question remains open for many instructors, I think that it is a truth that it can certainly help.  At this point, I also want to point out that there is a lot misunderstood about sadists. Most that I know don’t enjoy inflicting undifferentiated pain, they enjoy consent. Pain is a great teacher, but in many ways it also marks great progress.

“No pain, no gain.”

Let’s examine the parallels between personal trainers and sadists for a moment.   Every fitness trainer and physical therapist I know understands that pain is an indicator of progress.  They will measure how much their clients (read: victims) can take as a measure of their ability.  And as soon as their disciples have crossed the threshold that certain exercises are no longer challenging, they will devise new and different things to challenge their students.  The exact same thing is true of all the sadists or Dom/mes that I know.

There is also the symbiotic relationship we have with students. They know that the process of learning is uncomfortable, and yet they continue to sign up to learn. For many this is simply because the discomfort of ignorance is worse than the discomfort of learning.  There are others who want to learn just for the sake of learning… and these delightful perverts make my job a delight.  No matter how much work I pile in front of them, no matter what details I pick on, no matter what grueling course I have them learn they keep coming back for more.

I love these students who never use their safeword.

And for a final parallel: in (consenting) sadist/masochist relationships it is the masochist who holds the power.   They can make everything stop simply by saying no and leaving… but they enjoy the process as well.  The sadist provides imagination and shapes the scene.  The same thing is true of teaching a class.  Students show up because they want something.  Sometimes it isn’t fully defined, but teachers will help them find it.

I get to help students find themselves.

So there we have it… teachers have to have a certain willingness to push people out of their comfort zones.  But in order for us to do that, the students have to want it.

Oh how I love my job.

 

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