I’m an evil genius, and proud of it.
Is that vain of me? Probably. Do I care what you think? You may want to ask if I respect you enough to care about your opinion. If so, I will listen to you. I may not change, but I will listen. In all honesty, I strive for the “evil” part of this equation. Being a genius is a documented fact (the byproduct of lucky genetics and having effective education), and is nothing to be especially proud of.
The difference between being Evil and being Bad
To me there is a huge difference between being evil, and just being bad.
I equate being “bad” with being ineffectual, lazy, dull, inane, stupid, or willfully ignorant. Bad people are the kind of people who never admit to being wrong, or even worse, they never doubt that they are right (regardless of the facts). Bad people will harm others without a second thought. Selfishness, apathy, uncaring and disinterest are traits of bad people, but evil is … different.
Evil isn’t passive, it is engaged. An active, intelligent force that will adapt itself to overcome obstacles. Evil truly CARES!
Evil may be sadistic, but it is sadistic with an intention beyond the simple infliction of pain. Every hurt is aimed at crafting some greater goal. The glee that you feel from being evilly sadistic isn’t just for the sake of the pain, but for the direction it is taking you.
Ultimately, it challenges the very foundations of what you believe and accept. When it hits an obstacle, it will adapt. When it hits a boundary, evil will test it to it’s limits. Yes, being evil is impolite, but evil never rests. Evil is self reflective, loathing its own weaknesses and striving to overcome them. Yes, evil people often times have a rapier wit that can leave others bleeding, but they will direct it at themselves as much as others.
I think that why people don’t like evil is because growing hurts.
On being Good, and why being good can be bad
Being a good person is supportive, empathic, caring, and often nurturing. There is nothing wrong with this on the surface, we all need care and support!
The problem arises when people are thoughtlessly good, and end up supporting bad behavior. Actions borne out of the desire to help often do harm. With the best of intentions, you can make people weaker by removing obstacles that will make them grow. Empathy that cannot bear to see a person hurt, robs another person of the growth that comes from overcoming pain. Nurturing that is aimed at building another person up, can have the effect of creating dependence and weakness.
Have you seen what happens to kids with “helicopter” parents? The kids will never know that they can fail if they don’t do enough. Mediocre efforts are awarded high praise. In the worst cases, spoiled children turn into spoiled adults. The entitlement these people feel is horrible and revolting.
Personally, I think every child should have skinned knees and burned fingers … sometimes. And for the spoiled adults: I personally want to watch them forced with the choice of feeding themselves or going to the doctor because they are dangerously sick. Irony sucks, doesn’t it?
Love is Evil
“Love” is an emotion that people try to paint as a happy emotion, the pinnacle of all emotions. Some folks equate love with companionship, but selfishly clinging to another out of fear of loneliness isn’t love. Jealousy isn’t a symptom of love either, it is simply a symptom of insecure neuroses. Many people make that mistake. Love does not demand to be returned, loneliness and desire do.
Love isn’t desire, it isn’t sex, and you won’t always recognize it when you see it.
The painful truth is that love has a dark side.
The truth about love? Love is not always kind to those who feel it. To truly love means to care deeply, but not impose your own needs or desires on the loved. It means to desire the happiness and well-being of another, without regard to our own happiness. Love is not blind, it makes you see the flaws of another and forces you to accept them. It forces you to grow… and if you are lucky, you can be a part of that other persons life and you can both become better, but only at the other persons behest. Love only feels good when you love someone and are loved back.
To experience love is to accept uncomfortable truths about ourselves. Love hurts so good. It is often painful, occasionally harmful, and it will push your limits.
Love will either make you grow, or it will break you in the process. And that is why I say that love is evil.
Think about it.
Which brings me back to my original statement: I am an evil genius, and proud of it.
Love is evil, and sometimes, evil is love. So when I say I’m an evil math professor, I’m really saying that I care and I want my students to be happy and succeed. And even though I am exasperated at times, I am happy you are in my life. Thank you. I only hurt you because I care.
P.S. Yes, I know I’m not using the dictionary definitions of good, bad, and evil. These are reflections on my own idiosyncratic thinking. I also make these conceptional distinctions between the ideas of cute, pretty, attractive, and beautiful. Or the distinctions between smart, clever, and wise.
I probably think too much. *shrug* I like my brain.