I had all sorts of useful things to say at the beginning of this week. Full of encouragement and good feelings… and then I got done grading.
I like to give folks every opportunity to succeed. I give them the chance to excel.
I give encouragement.
I give feedback.
I tutor students.
I work insanely long hours.
I am patient.
I even accept (some) late work with the lamest of excuses.
I have no problem dealing with people who are having difficulty understanding, so long as they try. Some students are willing! I have a few very dedicated people in my classes. Let me say, I appreciate these students!
As for the rest of you… Seriously students?
What I hate is apathy. If you aren’t willing to try, then you don’t deserve to pass. Good intentions don’t matter. What matters is if you are willing to work at understanding until you actually understand. If you miss questions because you skipped class, don’t try to make it my problem. Quit complaining, it just makes you sound pathetic and I have no sympathy for you.
Why, oh why? Why the fuck are you wasting my time with so much half-assed work? I have no problem failing you. I will fail you. And you will deserve to fail.
So… Here are my midterm misanthropic fantasies.
- I want a burn barrel in class, so I can gleefully torch work that turned in late or incomplete.
- I want to lock my poor achievers together and have a cage match fight to actually stay in class. Top 3 can stay, if you can successful factor a trinomial.
- Instead of giving the thoughtful, reasoned, and encouraging response to the question: “So what are we going to use for? I mean really in the real world.” Just tell the student “You’re right. You won’t need this. You don’t need to pass a basic math class if you just want to push a broom.”
- I want to show up at the workplace of a student the next time they tell me after the midterm that they scheduled themselves for work that day, and be the most annoying customer EVER. Then get them fired from their job. Then fail them, and laugh maniacally when they beg for change on the street.
- I want a box of scorpions… for educational purposes.
I will not kill my students and wear their skins. I will not kill my students and wear their skins. I will not kill my students and wear their skins…