Teaching Nightmares

My brain is a weird place to live, let me tell you.

I recently had a dream where the entire world was made up of books.   Seriously, core to surface, made out of books.   In this dream, authors wielded serious power.   Me and a group of intrepid explorers were diving deep, exploring long lost texts and caverns.   Until…. one of my fellow explorers decided to betray us.   She decided that she would plagiarize our work, and kill us off one at a time.    It was murder by plagiarism.   I got away for a few minutes, took out my own book, and swapped dust jackets with another.    That was how I made it out alive.

My teaching nightmares are far more pedestrian than my actual nightmares (most of the time).    But they can be funny nevertheless:

  • Actually sharing my thoughts comparing crucifixion and learning math.
  • What I would do if all of my students started speaking in unison.
  • I have an extended nightmare about them telling me that I would get a raise, but only if all of my students pass.   It ends with me having a nervous breakdown.
  • I can imagine a student led discussion where they are deciding that the rules of mathematics don’t apply to them… and proceed to make all of the make up answers.   Somehow I’m powerless to prevent this.
  • (wait, that previous one happens sometimes)
  • I can imagine some arch-conservative hijacking all the funding from math and science because “Math is the language of the devil.”
  • One of my students is a cylon.
  • Opera lessons, next to my class, when I’m decaffeinated.

In any case, time continues to march on.   And now I find myself suffering from low-blood-chocolate.


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