Go Team

I have a confession to make.  If you happen to know me isn’t much of a confession, but it is my confession nonetheless.

(By the way, this is your rant warning).

I hate sports.   I mean really, really hate sports.

I don’t mind the activities themselves, really.   I don’t mind the “weekend warriors,” or rules or stratagems of the games themselves.   But the very institution of “SPORTS”.    Businesses, colleges and institutions have sprung up to support the business of sports.   (By the way, since when did playing outside take hundreds of dollars of equipment?)   They will happily sell you the idea of excellence, while subtly telling you that you are not part of the elite.  All of them encouraging athletes and amateurs  to be “stronger, faster, better…” and then we are surprised when people use steroids.   The culture is anti-intellectual, and is really good at selling advertising spots and bad beer.

And then we get to the athletes themselves.   Many of them are good people, I’m sure.   But for some reason we give license to some horrific behavior, or just encourage people who’s resume includes “throwing” and “running” to express their opinions about politics, spirituality, homosexuality, or Kim Jong Un.   Let me put it this way, if I were convicted of say… running an illegal dog fighting ring,  do you think I would get more than 21 months in prison?   Would I work again?  (By the way:  Michael Vick, I hope you were gang-raped by wolves in prison)      Let me put it another way… when was the last time you were SURPRISED by an athlete rape?  Or  people trying to cover it up?   Seriously, only the Catholic clergy have a worse track record.

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE?   They can be stupid, behave badly, and still make millions of dollars.   For playing intricate games of catch or keep away.     Last year I directly taught over 100 people how to do math, and helped them achieve their dreams (or at least moved them to better jobs).   Indirectly, I have helped hundreds more.  “Fumbling” for me means not being able to do 3-digit decimal multiplication in my head, while being watched by 30+ people.   I am a rockstar of a teacher,  who can keep a roomful of people entertained and interested in fractions and story problems.   I work 10-20 hours per week of unpaid overtime, and I still need to work a second part-time job to make my rent.   And I have cheap fucking rent.

Fuck professional athletes.   They don’t live in the same world as me, and they don’t deserve what they get.   And teachers deserve better.

Yeah, I’m angry.   It may be residual nerd-rage.   When I was a kid,   I was ahead a year in grade school so I was always the youngest, smallest kid (translate:  last picked for teams, and beaten up by jocks).   I even once received an award for “being the best sport about getting hit in the head with the ball.”  Heh.   Funny.    Basically, I got my sense of self-worth from being the smartest person in the room.    Later, I added biting sarcasm, and a penchant for graveyard humor that can make ER nurses flinch.

So when you ask me “why aren’t you wearing our colors?” for the superbowl, it is because of this:   I want both teams to lose.

Go out and support the real heroes.  Support teachers.

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